In the works.

You're gone. Well, you have been for a few weeks now. I've felt like I haven't been able to breathe since the funeral. Everyone tries to talk to me, I just don't want to hear anyone's voice. Not unless it's yours but I know I'm breaking my own heart by believing I'll be able to one day. Yesterday was the first time I got out of bed in a week. I didn't make it very far before I started to feel the weight of everything again and climbed right back into bed. I thought I'd try again today. I could hear the rain outside and it made me think of the day that we became "us". It was raining that day, too. I remember I ran out the door barefoot and started dancing in the driveway. You watched me jump in all the puddles and twirl around, getting soaked. You laughed and ran out to me. I could have sworn we were the only two people in the world that day. It felt like hours that we played before you pulled me inside. You grabbed my hand and led me to the bathroom... You started a warm shower for me. I remember exactly how your skin felt as you undressed me. Your lips were so soft, the moment was so perfect. You washed my hair and once we were all clean you wrapped me up in a towel. I don't know if I've ever smiled that big in my whole entire life. You pulled me into you and whispered "save that smile for me..." in my ear. I loved you then, you know. I stood in the doorway and watched the rain fall, thinking about it all. I closed my eyes and I swear I could still feel you right there with me. I took a deep breath and I ran out into the road and I danced and twirled around for you. I hope you were watching. I wish I could close my eyes, count to 3, and you would still be here. I thought about coming to be with you... where you are. And then I got scared that where you are doesn't exist, then I'd lose your memory forever. So I'll stay right here in hopes that you are up there watching me. And on every rainy day, I'll jump and twirl around for you and look for every puddle. I promise I'll never forget you. I promise I will think of you and every perfect day we spent together. You promised you'd never leave me... I hope you meant that. I pray to God that you're watching over me, now. Everyone says that time heals all wounds, so if that day ever comes where I stop hurting... I hope you're looking because I will smile. Because I've been saving it for you.